Monday, 15 January 2018

elated, then not

this post will be fragmented, just like my thoughts.

(some collages i made when i handed in my final assessment on friday and realised i had 3 weeks off where i could just read, sleep, and feel hazy with no strings attached. all photos found on tumblr and made on powerpoint.)
(elation: noun, great happiness and exhilaration.)
(this is what i feel but instead i am lying down, asleep, moving little, feeling lazy, content, elated.)


(thanks to Madison and her recent blog post, i was introduced to the song 'lil thing' by Knox Fortune, a tune with vibes heavily drenched in summer, sunshine and haze.)
(this song, paired with my sudden sensation of elation, made me squeal and twirl with genuine happiness, and for several seconds i thought i would combust from an overwhelming feeling of contentment. i had to sit down.)


returned to brighton and had wishes that consumed me for two weeks fulfilled.
and i guess what i am now experiencing is a come-down.
(here are some old/recent thoughts, pulled from my diary, a notebook, an actual book. as i type i am listening to this playlist.)

I am wasting ink and I forgot how to write. I can't remember whether something was real or whether I saw it in a dream. I love this! (not) I love how fear is an infection that can disturb even what seems like the realest of peaces, the kind of contentment that has you looking up at the sky at God-knows-who. Balanced waters quickly and suddenly disturbed by
fear.


feel weird and solemn and tired.

"spiritual love from the waist up and physical love from the waist down".


In happier news, Kali Uchis just released a new song called After the Storm and unsurprisingly, it has been on repeat. not only did this song contribute to my elation, but it is now compensating for feeling low. the soulish vibes, the lyrics themselves. i kinda just wanna dance around in a black dress with some rosé in my hand, in an old fashioned living room with vintage furniture and a fluffy pink carpet. anyway, she is my ultimate fave. she has been making my life since 2015 and here is an innocent  and kinda shit (bless 2015 me) blog post from way back when to prove it. enjoy.


hope everyone has had a decent start to 2018! I'm trying, as my musing for this month says, to find my way. 
~peace out~ and c u in the next post! Zoe xo