Friday, 22 April 2016

sweet 17?

Today I have turned the sweet age of 17. I don't feel jolly, and a feeling of "change" hasn't really hit me yet. It's been a really full on month, April. I've barely had time to just sit and think, or meditate, or block out the world and concentrate on the simple surroundings of my mind. I wonder when I will, and I wonder what it will look like. Probably some time in later May after my first exam is over. Either way, somehow, I have to get through the next few weeks without crumbling to the ground. I won't crumble! I'm strange. Life is strange. I'm strange because I'm insanely positive, yet there are times when I feel like taking the route of gloom as opposed to the scenic route.


I've been thinking a lot about the period of adolescence. We all live complex and detailed lives yet will never understand the true complexities of one another's. We leave childhood, then we loiter between innocence and experience. We lack emotional stability, we laugh, we cry, we drink, we sleep, we lie, we work, we make decisions and then we change them. We crave solitude and then desire attention and affection. We're another species of human! It's fascinating. I'm thinking of doing a lot of photography projects in the summer that reflect this period of time.

I was having a really topsy-turvy week, but one day, a Tuesday I think it was, the weather was glorious, so I went outside and took some photos. (They're really just selfies though.)



What I found weird about these selfies was 1: I have never succeeded in taking a normal photograph of myself from this angle ever. And 2: Low-angle shots are supposed to have connotations of power and strength, making a person or object look larger. These selfies acted as a form of self-inflicted empowerment. (does that even make sense?) I took photos of myself that made me look in control, that made me look strange. It's a still shot, but I'm active, and the receiver of this photo is passive. I'm talking gibberish aren't I? lol. I think it just, subtly, portrayed a weird sense of introspection, representing a new finding of identity or something like that.

I think 17 will be a weird one. A great one, but an odd one.
~ peace out and see you in the next post ~ Zoe xo

10 comments:

  1. happy 17th birthday Zoe! and good luck with your exams

    I liked what you said about not being able to understand the complexities of each other's lives

    it reminded me about Qualia, like the idea of there being some experiences that even if we try to talk about them in an attempt to relate, we will never truly know what the other person experiences. like headache pain and colour perception

    im rambling bleh

    but yeah

    happy birthday again!
    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds really interesting. It's hard to talk about stuff like that isn't it? it's all weird and subjective! It's hard to sound like you're not rambling when talking about the intricacies of someone else's life, and even your own to be honest! Sometimes I wish we could just be a body w/o a soul, so we didn't have to go through weird stages of introspection whenever we hit an internal obstacle in our lives.

      lmao now i'm rambling 😂
      Thank you!!! xoxoxox

      Delete
  2. Happy 17!!! You'll be hearing this a lot, but "you are a dancing queen!!!! young and sweet!!!! ooonly seventeen!!!!" You gotta listen to this song 283673 songs when you turn seventeen, it's just the thing to do hahahaha. Every time I approach a birthday, it hits me a week before and I always, ALWAYS, get into one of my funks and it's so annoying!!! It's good you haven't thought about it too much because sometimes it can get in the way of the things you wanna do, y'know? Anyways, aging is scary, but fun, especially, when you are a teen because teenage years should be fun and a huge learning experience!!! It makes me so sad to think I'm in my last year of """teenage hood''' because I've grown so much these past couple of years and have finally found myself and accepted who I am. I've grown a weird attachment to this part of my life.

    These pictures of you are sooo lovely, and I totally get what you mean on how you wanted to perceive yourself in them. Pictures can depict so much, it's awesome. Gr88888 post!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm at a family gathering as of right now and AS SOON AS I SAW THIS I put it on and my whole family erupted into the song :''''''D Amazing. Singing the chorus kinda gave me goosebumps, I think the feeling of being 17 is actually starting to kick in now. Ugh it must be weird to be in the last year - I'd feel so attached and emotional. But hopefully ready to leave as well? That's so good, I hope i finally find myself and accept who I am when I reach 19. I sort of have, but closure is still needed I guess.

      Thank you so much!!! <3 <3 <3

      Delete
  3. love this a lot, hope your birthday was the best!
    u slayyy that angle girl
    x
    malimichaelablog.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Happy 17th girl!! Don't worry, you still look stunning from a low angle - me on the other hand has chins for daaaaaays haha. Xx
    http://britishmermaid.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Cara!! Omg that's me 99% of the time if i'm honest 😂
      xxx

      Delete
  5. happy late birthday! the phrase 'we all live complex and detailed lives yet will never understand the true complexities of one another's' reminds me of the word 'sonder' (n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own). your self-portraits are stunning, by the way.

    kalopcia.blogspot.com xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww thank you! And ooh I remember when I first heard that word - it changed me hahaha. thank you so much! <3 <3 <3

      Delete

thanks for your comment, they never fail to make me smile + i appreciate them so much!