Friday, 28 July 2017

read with the soul

I wrote this short poem the other day, heavily inspired by Virginia Woolf's The Waves. I am currently in the middle of it, and it is gorgeous. Almost too gorgeous. It's extremely poetic. I actually have to read it out loud to myself sometimes because it's kind of intense reading prose like it in your head. I would recommend it though - the imagery she creates and the observations and thoughts of all of the characters are so beautiful. The first sentence of the poem is taken from the book! (i wish i had written it myself tbh)

untitled (written by me)

I saw a star riding through the clouds one night, and I said to the star, 'Consume me.'
Fold me over your tongue
as if I am sugary, evanescent, and smooth as honey.
Enclose me in your mouth as I dream,
waiting for the first bird to break open day
with their song and their beak-shaped laughter.
But wait, what is this?
No birds surround the frame of my being.
I hear a chirp in my left ear, and nothing in my right.
This distorts my perception.
They should be alighting, evenly elevating,
yet I am unsure if I should wake now,
without a bird to pierce open day.

* * *

I feel like I almost wrote some of this in my sleep - well sort of the limbo stage between being asleep and awake. It came to mind because the last couple of mornings I had been woken up immediately by the sounds of bird's singing, quite early. But this time I couldn't hear a thing when I woke up, and it almost felt wrong - I wanted to sleep until I was prompted by the familiar sound of a bird's song. It was uncomfortable, but I also felt like I was floating. It was a strange feeling. I feel like this poem can also be read aloud like spoken word? The pictures underneath are ones I felt went with the aura of the poem.

(All found on Tumblr.com)











Wednesday, 12 July 2017

one of my favourite places is closing down :// + other stuff

(drama queen much) because it isn't actually closing down - just relocating. But yeah, you read right. The East End Thrift Store that I've often banged on about on this blog is moving from its original store in Whitechapel to some other place. (I don't even know where yet but I know it is not worthy of this beautiful warehouse down a much beloved cobble street alley-way.)


It was the first time I had been in a while - the last few sales I didn't find much to thrift and it deterred me from going to their other ones what with exam stress and the general business of life. Nevertheless, sifting through piles of old clothes while listening to tunes, trying on dungarees five sizes too big and trying to kid yourself that you don't have enough over-sized shirts is always a fun experience. Again, I didn't find bags and bags of clothes, but I did pick up some khaki trousers and the  most amaZING LONG FUR/SUEDE COAT. (see much failed/kind of amazing animated picture below.)

i made this amazingly shit on purpose :) COMIC SANS for life
I have always known the East End Thrift Store to be famous for their collection of beautiful fur, leather or suede coats that are usually too big to the extent that I pretty much get lost in there. But by chance I tried this baby on, not expecting much, and ya know what, it actually looked alright! The store was closing down so I thought why not. When am I next going to find a timeless, glamorous coat like this for (drum roll) £5??? Good times. Sad times too. I've loved coming to this thrift store! May there be many more in the future at their new one! To commemorate, here are the times the EETS has made it onto this blog: 1 + 2 <33


IN OTHER NEWS, I went to my first ever zine fair on the 8th of July! As you know I have recently created an arts + literary zine that celebrates work by black women and GRRRL ZINE FAIR got in touch with me about having a table at their zine fair at the Village Green Festival!!! Of - frikin - course I said yes, and I  had the best time of my life. I met so many other amazing self-publishers and bands and the whole entire event was MAGICAL!









A highlight for me was a band called 'BIG JOANIE' - a Black feminist punk band creating a continuum of black punk by representing strong black womanhood in all its forms. Watching them perform was such a delight, especially hearing their BANGING cover of 'No Scrubs' by TLC which had me shaking my shoulders and laughing-out-loud at how fucking amazing it was. And real talk it was beautiful and empowering seeing a black feminist punk band in its rarity and importance. Big up Big Joanie, man.





It was zine heaven. Here are two zines that I bought!!!


'Banshee' is a magazine centred around the "women's internal self", striving to empower and inspire young girls by offering a perspective of feminism that isn't easily accessible in mainstream media and culture. It's full of beautiful artwork, articles and interviews about/of young women around the world and it is GORGEOUS.


'FLAPS' is a zine that focuses on the complexity, intelligence and creativity of girls. Their first issue is full of straight-talk about the feelings and experiences of young women with an honest representation of them too! I had to scan in this page - the A TO Z OF SHIT SEX. It literally had me laughing-out-loud. It was clever, hilarious and unapologetic. This is the kind of content that I admire tbh. Def def def buy their first issue! Support us self-publishers!!!


That's about it really. I'm just sailing through life at the moment. Just taking things in my stride! Exciting things are happening so yeh! It's been good! In a post I made a while ago about turning 18, I gave myself a list of advice to take during my 18th year, and I guess I've been following a few of them? Defo "Talk less, do more." Speaking of being 18, here are a couple photos from my birthday party + the aftermath. Disposables are a always a risk, and loads didn't come out which is annoying, but some cuties came out!!! Soz for the shitty quality. 









hope you enjoyed this post! ~ peace out ~ and see ya in the next one! Zoe xo

Monday, 3 July 2017

lemme be the spoon to your honey

hello u beautiful reader,

my 8tracks playlists haven't been that good this year lol but I made another one dedicated to the summer blues I was experiencing exactly two years ago. The summa blues r back :/ and the world feels hazy, but that's nothing new. I think this season is naturally made up of a melancholic sweetness. Not trying to romanticise the world but we all feel it don't we? Click here to listen to this dreamy compilation of slow jam and jazz.


1. 4AM - Anajah
2. Chamber of Reflection - Mac DeMarco
3. I'm the Man, That Will Find You - Connan Mockasin
4. Chimichanga - Kali Uchis
5. 24k - Biig Piig
6. All or Nothing - Kali Uchis
7. That Someone Must Be You - Jimmie Lunceford
8. Ode To Viceroy - Mac DeMarco

So far I have been doing nothing, except for partying. I've been feeling creative and weird and vibey and it's all strange and kind of exciting. I started calling for submissions for the second issue of my zine,  and I'm going to be selling the rest of issue one with  'GRRRL ZINE FAIR' at the Village Green Festival this week - my first zine fair! Calling all black women and femmes - submit submit submit! Deadline is the 5th august. <3 Check out the site for the submission guidelines.  


I plan to finally catch up on my long-ass reading list this summer. I can't be an English student at uni and have read nothing over the break, I'll look like a mug. (I'm acc so nervous, what if everyone on my course is super pretentious and I'm just there like yeh I've never read Jane Eyre before what's it about??) What is everyone reading???

I've also been writing a bit of poetry. Here are two lil' somethings I wrote a while ago:

1

(untitled) 

The ashes drop onto my skin
and burn with intention.
Why should it that they 
fall into the vulnerable part of my 
female body,
tickling the surface of the old scar,
that I, one day, 
will imprint on another.
Growth from womb,
life then tomb.
The Amethyst works in favour,
its purpose is known.
The ashes from the sage 
excite a vulnerable part of me.
Tension is made out of tranquility.
The tension is transient.
the scene is spiritual.
the scene is still perfect. 

2

"they went to see their lovers, and i went home to bed"

'what about that boy you were talking to?' she asks, as if to answer this question is as easy as being spoiled with consistency in the 21st century.
my room light is off and i let my bed sheets consume my excessively lonely body.
head against pillow, i destructively and delicately allow myself to wish it were you.
or the other guy, i can't remember.
the fantasies have mingled so i don't know who i love more
but i know that in this moment in time i am heartbroken by both.
the most painful type - the heartbreak that is an empty jar of made up memories and sickly dreams.
dreams. not reality.
the heartbreak from a love that never happened.
the pathetic type. the bulimic type.
everyone is falling in love while i fall out of life.
a glance at romance and my mind and body turn inside out and
suddenly i am falling into the deepest of holes and can't get out. it's a curse.
how about i detach myself emotionally from reality to avoid that tingly feeling you get when something that never started is over?
i am back in my bedroom and i remember that
they have gone to see their lovers,
and i have gone home to bed.

_________________
my summer mood-board: (All photos found on Tumblr)















wow this blog post is a mess lmao - but I feel it is representative of how this summer has been going tbh. I hope everyone is enjoying the time off they are having! Listen to music, put your feet up, go exploring, read and sleep. Speaking of music, I realised that Mac De Marco's albums 'Salad Days' and '2' and Amy Winehouse's 'Frank' are albums that I can listen to all the way through, on repeat. Top to bottom. They are all so beautiful!
hope you enjoyed this mess of a post! ~peace out~ and see you in the next one.
Zoe xo